The Tao of Broads - How to Avoid Dating a Psycho Bitch from Hell
BOCA RATON, FL -- Gentlemen, before you date a girl… (DATE, not FUCK) Do a little three-part inquiry. Follow these three rules, and you’ll eliminate 90% of the psycho bitches out there. Following these three rules may still get you hooked up with one, but if you can eliminate 90% of the chance of that, isnt it worth giving my three-part system a chance?
Do NOT make exceptions. Follow the Tao, and you'll be safe. Violate it at your own peril.
1. Does she get along with her father? If not, RUN. Not slowly. Don’t jog. Fucking RUN. This is a time bomb – and nobody escapes unharmed.
Listen guys, here it is…. People think in terms of “forms.” It is an instinct-level human behavior. If a girl hates her dad, has issues with her dad, you my friend, are FUCKED. Nothing you can do can avoid the inevitable disaster once you slip into the "alpha male" slot in her mind.
A woman’s first relationship with a guy is that relationship she has with her dad. When she forms that relationship, that creates the paradigm for how she will view all men. So… you find a girl who hates her dad, she seems GREAT for the first few months. Why? Because her unrequited quest for acceptance, affection, and love from her dad is transferred to you! Yep, these are the girls who will do anything for you, anything to please you, and who make life seem like heaven for the first couple of months of every single relationship they are in.
Then the transformation happens.
What transformation? No, she doesn’t change AT ALL. But you change. You yourself don’t change, but in her head, all of a sudden, the second you become the most dominant male in her life, you become her dad. So, if dad cheated on mom, you’ll be both penalized for it – and never fully trusted. Dad beat up on mom? She’ll be paranoid of that. Dad never came to get her on his weekends, she’ll have an abandonment issue. And yes, it all becomes your problem.
Then, you’re sitting there wondering what the hell happened to that great chick you were dating a few days ago? Well, she’s still there! She will be there for the first six to twelve weeks of every relationship she gets into – but once her boyfriend becomes her *Boyfriend* he becomes her next Victim. These chicks will eventually get some guy to marry them – the poor bastard will be like a junkie trying to get back to that “first time” by shooting up again and again, but it just gets worse. That poor bastard will think that the commitment of marriage will be what she’s looking for. Nope, what she is looking for is to punish you for a crime you never committed. You’re so fucked. Double that if her mom actually helped reinforce what a bastard her dad was.
Stay away from these kind of chicks as if their pussies were made of kryptonite. Seriously, take up bestiality. Turn gay. Jack off with a donut. Just don’t, don’t, don’t ever date a father-issues broad. You’ll pay. You’ll remember that I told you so.
2. Does she smoke? Run. Smoking is white-trash behavior. Smoking is a sign that a person has zero respect for their own body, and thus for themselves. Yes, smokers will have looser moral fibers – and that’s good in the “just gonna fuck her” scenario. A girl who will coat her lungs with shit won’t mind fucking you within three or so dates… She’ll swallow, or be trainable to do so. Enjoy the pussy, but take the pussy and run. Well, that is if you can stand the stench of the pussy. When a chick smokes, you can smell it coming from her every pore – including that one big wet one that you’re hunting after all the time. Yeah, bend her over and start banging her from behind – then smell the nasty ashtray twat stink. Enjoy. Oh yeah... and don't forget that if she ever actually quits -- she'll probably gain 20 lbs. So... look at her while you're banging her and holding your nose to keep from smelling "marlboro lights" dribbling out of her slit... would you still want her if she were two sizes larger? Didn't think so you shallow fuck. Well, be warned.
3. Does she have a dog? This is not a definite “run,” but it is a warning sign. If it is a little shit dog, RUN. If she has a dog, take a long look at how she interacts with it. If there is an abundance of "baby talk" to the dog -- run. if the dog has more toys than a dildo store -- run. If the dog is allowed to shit on, sleep on, or eat anything it wants -- run. Look for indications that this is a chick whose ultimate relationship is with something that is completely dependent upon her for everything - she feels closest to something if she can control every last facet of its existence, and in exchange for that control, she gets loyalty and affection. Fuck that. She wants a companion that can't even shit by itself.
Beware... for every girl who has a dog and is really cool (and yes, there are a few cool chicks with dogs) ... there is another who wants a relationship with a male who has his balls cut off to keep him from misbehaving.
Bottom line on dogs... you date a chick with a dog, and chances are you will become relegated to the same level of treatment that the dog gets. Works great for a creature that only shits and eats and doesn't mind never getting laid. Even if the chick is GREAT, and the dog isn't a misplaced affection tool - good luck enjoying your time with this dumb cunt. Don't get a nice car, because the fucking dog will HAVE to be in your back seat when you go places. Don't even THINK of spontaneous trips or any spontaneous fun, because the fucking feces of the damn dog will govern EVERY FUCKING PLAN YOU MAKE.
A chick with a cat -- even two -- is much better. It shows that she is capable of affection, but has the confidence to be able to sustain a relationship with something that has a degree of independence.
Funny story -- I dated a chick one time, she was pretty bitter. Her prior boyfriend was mooching thousands of dollars off of her, telling her that he was spending the money on tuition. She found out, 2 weeks before their wedding, that he was actually spending her money on golf, cocaine, and other women. Whoo what balls on that guy. Anyhow, she reacts by.... (drum roll) ... you guessed it, getting a fucking dog. So now I'm in the picture... I'm banging this girl, lets call her Christine... and her fucking dog sticks its nose in my ass. Now, I am as kinky as the next guy... but I gave the dog a pretty good boot off the bed. Yeah, you guessed it... Christine yells at me to not be mean to "Poochie" and says that he can come on the bed any time he wants.
My reaction -- I tell her that if the dog is gonna be on the bed while we fuck, then she's gonna have to fuck the dog, becasue I'm out of here.
Her twat smelled like cigarettes anyhow.
Any questions?
Do NOT make exceptions. Follow the Tao, and you'll be safe. Violate it at your own peril.
1. Does she get along with her father? If not, RUN. Not slowly. Don’t jog. Fucking RUN. This is a time bomb – and nobody escapes unharmed.
Listen guys, here it is…. People think in terms of “forms.” It is an instinct-level human behavior. If a girl hates her dad, has issues with her dad, you my friend, are FUCKED. Nothing you can do can avoid the inevitable disaster once you slip into the "alpha male" slot in her mind.
A woman’s first relationship with a guy is that relationship she has with her dad. When she forms that relationship, that creates the paradigm for how she will view all men. So… you find a girl who hates her dad, she seems GREAT for the first few months. Why? Because her unrequited quest for acceptance, affection, and love from her dad is transferred to you! Yep, these are the girls who will do anything for you, anything to please you, and who make life seem like heaven for the first couple of months of every single relationship they are in.
Then the transformation happens.
What transformation? No, she doesn’t change AT ALL. But you change. You yourself don’t change, but in her head, all of a sudden, the second you become the most dominant male in her life, you become her dad. So, if dad cheated on mom, you’ll be both penalized for it – and never fully trusted. Dad beat up on mom? She’ll be paranoid of that. Dad never came to get her on his weekends, she’ll have an abandonment issue. And yes, it all becomes your problem.
Then, you’re sitting there wondering what the hell happened to that great chick you were dating a few days ago? Well, she’s still there! She will be there for the first six to twelve weeks of every relationship she gets into – but once her boyfriend becomes her *Boyfriend* he becomes her next Victim. These chicks will eventually get some guy to marry them – the poor bastard will be like a junkie trying to get back to that “first time” by shooting up again and again, but it just gets worse. That poor bastard will think that the commitment of marriage will be what she’s looking for. Nope, what she is looking for is to punish you for a crime you never committed. You’re so fucked. Double that if her mom actually helped reinforce what a bastard her dad was.
Stay away from these kind of chicks as if their pussies were made of kryptonite. Seriously, take up bestiality. Turn gay. Jack off with a donut. Just don’t, don’t, don’t ever date a father-issues broad. You’ll pay. You’ll remember that I told you so.
2. Does she smoke? Run. Smoking is white-trash behavior. Smoking is a sign that a person has zero respect for their own body, and thus for themselves. Yes, smokers will have looser moral fibers – and that’s good in the “just gonna fuck her” scenario. A girl who will coat her lungs with shit won’t mind fucking you within three or so dates… She’ll swallow, or be trainable to do so. Enjoy the pussy, but take the pussy and run. Well, that is if you can stand the stench of the pussy. When a chick smokes, you can smell it coming from her every pore – including that one big wet one that you’re hunting after all the time. Yeah, bend her over and start banging her from behind – then smell the nasty ashtray twat stink. Enjoy. Oh yeah... and don't forget that if she ever actually quits -- she'll probably gain 20 lbs. So... look at her while you're banging her and holding your nose to keep from smelling "marlboro lights" dribbling out of her slit... would you still want her if she were two sizes larger? Didn't think so you shallow fuck. Well, be warned.
3. Does she have a dog? This is not a definite “run,” but it is a warning sign. If it is a little shit dog, RUN. If she has a dog, take a long look at how she interacts with it. If there is an abundance of "baby talk" to the dog -- run. if the dog has more toys than a dildo store -- run. If the dog is allowed to shit on, sleep on, or eat anything it wants -- run. Look for indications that this is a chick whose ultimate relationship is with something that is completely dependent upon her for everything - she feels closest to something if she can control every last facet of its existence, and in exchange for that control, she gets loyalty and affection. Fuck that. She wants a companion that can't even shit by itself.
Beware... for every girl who has a dog and is really cool (and yes, there are a few cool chicks with dogs) ... there is another who wants a relationship with a male who has his balls cut off to keep him from misbehaving.
Bottom line on dogs... you date a chick with a dog, and chances are you will become relegated to the same level of treatment that the dog gets. Works great for a creature that only shits and eats and doesn't mind never getting laid. Even if the chick is GREAT, and the dog isn't a misplaced affection tool - good luck enjoying your time with this dumb cunt. Don't get a nice car, because the fucking dog will HAVE to be in your back seat when you go places. Don't even THINK of spontaneous trips or any spontaneous fun, because the fucking feces of the damn dog will govern EVERY FUCKING PLAN YOU MAKE.
A chick with a cat -- even two -- is much better. It shows that she is capable of affection, but has the confidence to be able to sustain a relationship with something that has a degree of independence.
Funny story -- I dated a chick one time, she was pretty bitter. Her prior boyfriend was mooching thousands of dollars off of her, telling her that he was spending the money on tuition. She found out, 2 weeks before their wedding, that he was actually spending her money on golf, cocaine, and other women. Whoo what balls on that guy. Anyhow, she reacts by.... (drum roll) ... you guessed it, getting a fucking dog. So now I'm in the picture... I'm banging this girl, lets call her Christine... and her fucking dog sticks its nose in my ass. Now, I am as kinky as the next guy... but I gave the dog a pretty good boot off the bed. Yeah, you guessed it... Christine yells at me to not be mean to "Poochie" and says that he can come on the bed any time he wants.
My reaction -- I tell her that if the dog is gonna be on the bed while we fuck, then she's gonna have to fuck the dog, becasue I'm out of here.
Her twat smelled like cigarettes anyhow.
Any questions?
posted by Enrico Giamondi at 8:17 AM
2 Comments:
Dude - you're a fucktard that can't get laid. Take your TAO & shove it up your ass - it's pretty obviously that where you like to get stuffed anyway.
The entire female population...
I have it on information and belief that the above comment was posted by my ex-girlfriend... ha ha ha!
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