The Terrible Towel is so queer

ALIQUIPPA, PA - So here I am in Western PA -- yeah -- Red State Pennsylvania. These Steelers fans are convinced, yet again, that the Patriots are just a footnote to their next superbowl. We'll see about that... But what is more important is to analyze the "terrible towel" syndrome.

Please help me understand. These double-chinned dipshits root for a team and their big thing is the "terrible towel?"

It sounds like something from a drug-induced paranoid hallucination. "AAAHHHH the TERRIBLE TOWEL IS COMING AFTER ME." Thats fucking stupid.

Hey, everyone, get your TOWEL!!!! How about your Terrible Potholder?

Terrible Washcloth. Terrible Diaper. Terrible Loofah! Get my point? Fucking lame. The only thing better about terrible towel v. terrible loofah is that the loofah lacks the slight alliteration of terrible towel. How fucking gay. I want to wipe my ass with a terrible towel.

Not only all that, but don't they get sick of opposing players waving THEIR towels in the air when they kick your ass? I loved watching that in 2001, and I'm gonna love it on Sunday when the Steelers get their asses stomped.

So... I actually DO like the Steelers franchise. I actually DO like Big Ben, and Bettis, and hell, there isnt a real punk ass douchebag on the whole Steelers team that I can think of right now. But come on, cut the fucktard towel thing. Its just lame and gay.