Monday, November 13, 2006

Keep the "Christ" in Christmas

WAL MART, THE SOUTH - I've said it a million times - Christians are fucking idiots. Pretty much, by definition, any moron who believes that superstitious hypocritical dreck is an idiot. But, the next time you hear one of these cunts support "keeping the Christ in Christmas" make sure you remind them that Christmas Trees are expressly forbidden by the Bible.

"Thus saith the Lord, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them. For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not. . . . They are altogether brutish and foolish." (Jeremiah 10:2-8)

Ha, Ha, and fuckin HA

BIBLEFUCK, CO - What more can I say. I am just loving the fact that Ted Haggard, a candidate for cunt-bag of the century, was busted for snorting crystal meth with gay prostitutes.

I don't entirely disapprove of either behavior. I think if you do crystal meth, you are a goddamned redneck moron. That shit is stupid as fuck to put in your body. But, if you wanna, and you dont go breaking into my house for the money for it, or your meth lab doesnt explode and kill anyone, then comb that mullet back and toot away.

Same thing with gay whores. I like whores. I've definitely fucked my share of prostitutes. So why shouldnt a homo get the same privilege?

But when it is a bible-thumping fuckwad, trying to con the whole world into some stupid assed superstition -- who ALSO uses his superstition-mind-control shit to influence MY laws... AND his influence is to try and condemn the very behavior in which he is partaking -- well fuck him in his ass with a cactus.

Here he is... meth snorting and gay whore fucking Ted Haggard.



Take a look around. Those that "doth protest too much" are usually hiding something. I have my suspicions about Scott Berthold - this lawyer who runs around trying to shut down strip clubs and adult bookstores all over the country. Just look at the guy. He doth protest a little too much, and I wonder what he's hiding. Sam Brownback? Do you think he is just a fuckin nut-job, just pandering to the complete idiocy that is the State of Kansas, or is he trying to cover something up?

I can't even keep track of how many of these fucks have fallen. If you want to, the Freedom From Religion Foundation (www.ffrf.org) has a great "black collar blotter" that it keeps in its newsletter. It reports on all the "holier than thou" fuckers who get caught stealing or buggering altar boys. Its a laugh riot. I do expect to see James Dobson and Scott Berthold on there one day.

Bring on more immigration!

600 NEW JERSEY AVE, WASHINGTON, DC - I am all for immigration. Legal, illegal, whatever. Stick with me here... it all comes down to the existence of the "wingman."

I am not entirely certain that this is the "wingman creed" I would have drafted. Nevertheless, Benjamin Franklin wasn't overjoyed with the Constitution either, but it was good enough for him.



Doesn't it suck that we *need* wingmen? American women are pretty much the worst on the planet. They can be ok, and even incredible, but if you can get outside this country and hit on some girls elsewhere, be ready for a treat. Ok, in Asia, its all about the benjamins, because if a girl is in a bar in Asia, at least in Thailand or Indonesia, and most of Singapore, she's there looking to fuck you for a few bucks.

I'm not talking about that.

Sweden is awesome. If you've never been, then you'll be saying "of course it is." No, its not all big Swedish Bikini Team tits flying around will-nill. On the contrary. Swedish broads are generally pretty conservative, and there are a fair number of homely Swedish chicks. But, on average, yes... they're a damned fine gene pool of hotness.

But that isnt why I love them.

In Sweden, you walk into a bar or a club. You see a girl you want to hit on. You say "hello" or "hej" (pronouned "hey"), and strike up a conversation. No matter how hot, wealthy, or whatever it is never the cunty showing off for her friends crap you can get here.

Next, you offer to buy her a beer. This is where it gets awesome. Every time I got shot down in Sweden, which was about 80% of the time (not bad odds if you ask me), the girl would politely say "if you want to invite me for a beer, I would like that, but understand that I am not interested in you."

Holy fucking shit.

THAT made it worth the $8 for the beer right there. But it gets better.

THEN, in the majority of those situations, the girl would take the beer, and while drinking it, keep chatting with me... and THEN would go get a friend who she thought *might* be interested in me. And in those situations, the kill ratio was amazing.

Yes, Swedes dont understand the term "wingman." They dont understand why you would need one. When a chick turns you down in Sweden, she goes and gets you a consolation prize - which can sometimes be hotter than the original target. AND you get the "I've already pre-interviewed him for you" recommendation. That shit is like a teflon loaded armor piercing round.

Better yet -- they dont mind fucking you within a few hours of meeting you. They might not. Swedish broads are not as slutty as you may think. But they are definitely not hung up on what their friends will think, or on how many dates they need to wait to fuck you. I only had a girl hold off one night, one time, when I was there. Why? Because she hadn't thought she would be getting laid that night and she was embarassed that she hadn't shaved her pussy in 2 weeks.

Sweet.

Dont even get me started about latinas.

American broads really need some re-education. They wonder why we dont have a woman president. When Swedish women run the country, even the Islamic republic of Indo-fucking-Nesia, and Paki-motherfucking-Stan have had female leaders... do you really think it is sexism that keeps them out of the presidency?

No... it is their cunty fat friends that do that. American men would be fine with a female president. Shit, we all have a mom. We never really mind mom telling us what to do. Every frat house has a "house mom," and every group of stoners has a "trip mom." We love moms. We certainly wouldnt mind having a "national mom."

On the other hand... American women are so fucking uptight that we really should just carpet bomb the country with ecstasy and diet pills for a month.

And that is why I am all for immigration. Dilute the fucking attitude with some lovely Latina "taking care of you baby" or some Swedish honesty, or some fucking asian "pretend I'm submissive, but this is how I control you and you dont even mind it" shit.