Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Crabs

Crabs
-Enrico Giamondi

ASSATEAGUE, MD -- I still suffer from a childish idealism that as members of a democracy, we have a responsibility to work toward political goals that we believe will benefit us all, even at the expense of slight inconvenience or minor setbacks to our personal agendas. You assholes who vote for the guy who will save you a few bucks on your taxes, or who will institute medical malpractice reform because you work as a doctor - well you can go fuck yourselves.

A little allegory: When you boil crabs, you do so while they are alive. You throw all the crabs in a pot, and despite the fact that they are about to boil to death, you don't need to put a weight on the lid. The reason why? Because even if a crab reaches the lid and moves it, another will grab its legs in a vain attempt to pull itself out of the boiling water. And, in turn, step on the head of another trying to rise up. So, with a lid that any one crab could easily move, you can contain a dozen crabs that are all boiling to death, because each and every one of them is motivated by one thing - their own individual preservation. In the end, they all die.

That is the struggle of mankind. At some point we need to become evolved enough from the crustaceans that we can push one another out of the pot, instead of dragging one another into it. There are certainly examples of individuals that demonstrate that we as humans have the capacity to do so.

Firemen rushing into the World Trade Center, people diving into the icy potomac when the US Air flight hit the 15th street bridge, dissidents in countries where dissent lands you in jail, dead, or otherwise permanently silenced. Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi, Che Guevara, Thomas Jefferson, Martin Luther King, Mother Teresa, etc....these people all show that we have the *potential* to rise above the crab in a pot paradigm.

The problem is, we have not collectively done that yet, but once we do, mankind will certainly rise to a level of consciousness that was once only conceived of in mythology.

This should be the spirit of the politician. I'm certain that agreement on how we should act collectively, for the common good, is a matter of debate. I am certain that most of us would disagree (perhaps strongly) on what we need to do in order to benefit all. But there is a difference between a man who acts with the motivation to benefit all, but does so stupidly, ineptly, or simply improperly and the man who acts to benefit himself and succeeds, even if his success accidentally benefits many.

A man with good motivations will always change his course when he sees that it is driving the rest of us into a storm. But those who are in it for themselves will simply jump in a lifeboat when they have plundered the ship for all it is worth. That is why I would rather back a guy whose politics differ from my own over a guy whose politcs might be similar to my own. I want the guy who cares about us all in office, no matter what his politics are.

So, what are you? Are you a crab in a pot?

Friday, October 15, 2004

Christian idiots

BIBLEFUCK, MS -- I'm so fucking sick of this "moral values" bullshit. I think a Bible would burst into flames if I actually touched it, so with a pen to turn the pages, I went through some of it....ok, actually, I know that crappy book better than any "christian" that I know. Here are some of my favorite passages.

Corinthians
9 Do you not know that the unjust will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators nor idolators nor adulterers nor boy prostitutes nor sodomites 10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor robbers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 That is what some of you used to be; but now you have had yourselves washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.

Have any of these "moral values" fuckheads read the first part of this passage? For example, does persecution of homosexuals (who do not have the numbers to defend themselves) render one just, or unjust? I fail to see how persecution of any by man is just. Perhaps this supposed diety sees fit to cast homosexuals into hell, but I do not see where there is Biblical support for men to persecute other men. Accordingly, I see the same authority to cast Pat Robertson into hell as one who gets fucked up the ass, male or female.

And, while if god exists, and if heaven and hell exist, and I am called upon to argue the case of a sodomite before god, I suppose I would need to concede that perhaps the sodomite shall not be entitled to entry to the kingdom of god. Nevertheless, this is the United States of America, not the kingdom of god, and accordingly I fail to see why Corinthians, no matter how you interpret it, should be used to justify unequal rights under the law of men in this nation.

Fornication
Unless I misunderstand the meaning of the word "fornicator," wouldn't that encompass any copulation for pleasure rather than reproduction? Or a less-stringent definition might be any who copulate prior to marriage. Perhaps none of these holier-than-thou fucks have ever copulated with anyone to whom they are not married, and perhaps they have only copulated with the intent of reproduction. To this I say, what a damn shame.

If not, are they too condemned? Should the law of the United States not condemn copulation between the unmarried as well? I think not, but is this truly the world these fucks believe should be established? I have no problem with them adhering to this code of conduct (as stupid as it is), but where is their right to impose it upon others, because frankly, I love getting laid, and I consider it a gift from whatever might have created me.

Jacking off
I have seen translations of Corinthians 6 where masturbation is also condemned. Such prohibitions of "onanism" are also read into Genesis 38: 7-10. I happen to disagree that onanism is simple masturbation, but most of these bible-toting wackos seem to adhere to this theory. Who the fuck can really testify before god that they have never, shall we say, taken matters into thine own hand? If spanking it gets me sent to hell, then buy me a first-class ticket to the netherworld, because I jack off at least two to three times a day, and have since I was 13. And I am proud of it!

Leviticus doesnt apply to us
Leviticus 20:2 applies Levitical laws to "the children of Israel." Accordingly, I fail to see where the obligation is created unto christians to either not engage in homosexuality, or to persecute those who do. I mean, I see no obligation to engage in homosexuality either, but I fail to find any biblical support for the persecution of homosexuals, who are (even by biblefuck standards) hurting only themselves.

Abomination
Where is the authority that even if we accept that homosexuality, masturbation, fornication, or even eating shellfish is an "abomination," that this is condemned by god? If you read the old testament in Hebrew, the word used here is "toevah," which means something that is unclean in a ritualistic sense, for Jews only. I suppose 2000+ years of translation, transliteration, and re-translation could possibly have knocked this word around a bit....but toevah certainly does not imply condemnation to death.